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What’s happening out there?
August 14, 2025
I am going to tackle a controversial subject this week. Now this is not my norm; I tend to stay well away from anything that causes contention. I never comment on politics, religion, or get involved in anything that may cause a stir, BUT…
Is it a modern trend?
I started to notice long before I ever started Not a Date that the way people treat each other in business was changing, and not for the better. I can't speak for the wider corporate or big business workplace, as we are only a small team, but things in the small business world were, let’s say, evolving. I started to notice changes in behaviour from acquaintances and business connections (I would like to think not friends), but then it spread to just about anybody and everybody. Then when I started Not a Date - the dating scene: it seems like an epidemic.
I am talking about manners. General etiquette and personal conduct.
Or more to the point, the lack of them these days.
I am going to talk about the way we treat each other…
Ghosting, ignoring and blanking regarding communication in both the personal and business world are now the norm. Sheer downright dishonesty, going back on an arrangement or agreement and unscrupulous or unprofessional behaviour seem to have become the accepted way to go about things.
And I’m not even talking about the scams, catfishing, or swindling people associated with modern dating.
I’m talking old-fashioned manners, the mantra of “treat people the way you would like to be treated” - with courtesy and respect seems to be disappearing into a black hole.
But why?
Is it a result of the pandemic? Has it arisen because so many of us spent that time only having to think about ourselves and our immediate family? Has it made us naturally more selfish?
Did relationships, communication, and looking out for each other start to break down because we didn’t need them as much? Perhaps many didn’t even know if they had a business or job to come back to.
Was it that lack of human connection with each other? The massive rise in digital communication? Meetings held online, and the “I’m so sorry, I’ve got to cancel - I’ve tested positive” that became the standard and unarguable excuse for anything for nearly three years.
We all had to retreat into our own tiny world, and we haven’t emerged unscathed. Is this how it’s going to be forever? A culture change to the way we go about conducting our business and personal lives.
Or...
Is it because people just don’t want to have an open, honest, and sometimes confrontational conversation or situation? It’s difficult to say no, that you have changed your mind, or admit you’ve overcommitted in some way and let someone down on something you have committed to. Let alone be honest that you're just not into someone; I get it.
I am not being negative in any way; I am genuinely interested. I have discussed this with several people lately (all in agreement), and it seems to be getting worse. We seem to have lost our way when it comes to manners, helping each other, communication, and low standards have become normal when it comes to how we treat each other these days.
Now, I’d like to think that I am a very thoughtful person; I go out of my way to make someone’s day, help, mentor, and support, as I am a massive believer in karma. I shop local, support small businesses, promote others for no gain to myself, support charities, and strive for great customer service. I try to enrich and add value to everyone I come across, often to the detriment of my bottom line, but that’s just the way I am, and I won’t and don’t want to change. So, I do and have always, taken into account that not everyone thinks the same way as me, both in my professional and personal life.
Some people are naturally more selfish in life (nothing wrong with that) and more ruthless in business than me (good for them), but that doesn’t justify poor manners.
I’m not going to include tips, lists and a downloadable on this piece. I just think we should all think about others a little more than we do now. For instance, give yourself some breathing space to decide if you really want to and have the time to attend that meeting or event before accepting. Better to be honest from the start than flake and let people down later. Let’s start thinking about other peoples’ feelings when letting them down both personally and professionally.
I think it’s worth mentioning that we often don’t consider the effect that our inability to say no; ghosting by email or text; not turning up; or just not being honest in the first place has on someone else's mental health and self-esteem. We overlook the fact that they will be sitting, mulling over in their head what they said or did, to provoke your (in)action.
It chips away at someone.
If we consider each other more, how we react, and how we communicate in what has become a rat race of a world, maybe we can bring some manners back and everyone will feel better about themselves.
I would love to hear your thoughts – whether you agree with me or not…
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